Feeling Alive...

Have you ever just really felt alive?  A feeling that is hard to describe... but just from deep within you can feel your heart beating for what is right.  There is something about being here that makes me alive.  I assume it is just the ability to serve these kids and just the idea that His will is being carried out.  But, even in the littlest things I just feel like things are so right.

This past week (as with all weeks) God has revealed some things to me.  So the week started normal... and then Tuesday something bad happened to my computer.  It got a little wet... and I was just sure that EVERYTHING I had on it was gone.  So I prayed and cried and went to bed.  I got up early to call my Mom and she just reminded me that it is just property.  It can be replaced.  Life will go on.  How foolish I feel when things sink in and I realize I reacted like my world was going to crash down.  So, I prayed about it and then just realized oh well, it happens. Life went on.  And then there was a miracle.  My computer worked.  But, then it didn't work.  Then I took it to a repair shop and it worked.  Then I brought it home and it didn't work.  So currently... it is sitting beside me dead.  All of that is not the point of my story... then I read a facebook status about the well pump at our school being broken.  And I thought, oh how terrible.  And I said a prayer like 'God you know our needs.  Help us.' And I moved right along with my daily routine.  And then a few hours later God smacked me in the face with the revelation of being so incredibly selfish!  And I could just hear him be like... 'umm excuse me Amanda, but when your little computer stopped working and you prayed so earnestly about how you need it and I listened.  And that little computer well it really only affects you.  This pump... it not only affects all of the children living at Destino, but think about the 250 kids that will be at school on Monday, and Tuesday, and Wednesday with no running water... oh and on top of that the electricity needs paid.  I am needed... and all you said was a one sentence wimpy little prayer.'  This is usually how my conversations with God goes... sometimes it is a still small voice and other times it is him saying 'HELLO AMANDA.  Wake up.'

So, wow... with all of that said.  God is teaching me daily about the right way to live.  Sometimes I get overwhelmed and then I realize once again... this is not a feeling from God.  God is love.  Yes, I am challenged here.  But, it is a good challenge.

I feel like I have so much to say today.  Not so much for you or whoever reads this, but for me.  To serve as a reminder when I read back through these ramblings and think 'Oh yea, God is so good.'

Wednesday nights we go to an English Bible study and then on Sunday mornings we go to the same place for Spanish church.  So, I want to share one more cool thing that God is teaching me through the church here.

On Wednesday we talked about CRAZY things God has said.  It was fun to sit back and laugh about some of the things that can be taken out of context (hate your mother and father, if your arm causes you to sin cut it off, eat my flesh and drink my blood, sell all of your possesions and give to the poor, have a banquet and invite the poor, etc..,) and then when we talked about the actual meanings of those things.  And we discussed maybe how God and Jesus wanted us to understand those things and OBEY those things I listen and nod and think wow... that is some crazy stuff.  And then, with one simple verse I can be so challenged.  'If you love me.  Obey me.'  John 14 5.  Shew.  I'm pretty sure he meant everything too. 

So, I am learning to obey.  Everyday.  And boy do I fail. 

They teach me about God's love everyday.